On Taking Offense

The spirit of offense is wreaking havoc in the church, in individual lives, and in the world today. Taking offense stops growth, prevents miracles, and fights against the spread of the gospel. Taking offense is perseverating (thinking over and over) on what someone else did wrong. A better definition might be that taking offense is when you keep thinking about your hurt feelings based on your judgment about what someone else did wrong. People who want to be strong in the Holy Spirit, will resolve never to take offense.

Matthew 11: 6, Matthew 26:53, John 15:25, 23, John 16:1, I John 2:9

Indeed, if you do a study of offense, and compare the King James Version with the New American Standard version, you will discover that “taking offense” equals “falling away” or “stumbling.” This is so, because when you take offense, you are choosing to take care of your flesh instead of be obedient and end up finding yourself worshiping the accuser. If you instead, keep your eyes on Jesus, making no provision for your flesh, then you stay in forgiveness and find forgiveness and the favor of God having a clear channel to you.

Notice the definition of offense above. You make a judgment. You nurse hurt feelings. You keep thinking about it. Then satan, casts fiery darts through you to hate, to divide, and you are now a very good catcher or target while you are nursing your flesh like this.

There are a lot of weak links in this chain. The first is that your judgment may be way off. Next, let's think about what nursing wounds often looks like: coddling the flesh.

Notice that coddling your flesh is practically the same as being immature. Maturity calls and impels you to set aside your own small interests, consider others, and so move in a higher level. I have seen a lot of very immature behavior lately. I urge you to ask yourself if what you are fussing about is really the fault of the persons you are blaming or if it is not really your own fault. I ask you to ask yourself, when you are privileging yourself not to take responsibility, if you are not really only arguing that YOU can be a small child if you want. I urge you to ask yourself, when you are being challenged to stand up and be a soldier ofr the kingdom and you have some good sounding excuse, if you are not really merely only giving an excuse. You might get away with all of these things in conversation in the church, because people know that they are supposed to “be nice” in church. Nevertheless, they may clearly see that you have chosen to be immature and are advertising this. God for sure sees.

Let me show you then, what taking offense looks like.

Baby throws down cookie from high chair and screams because she doesn't have the cookie anymore.
I see this all the time. People are not happy with their results, but don't see that their choices caused those results. Somehow it feels better to blame others, even God, instead of making different choices. Only that, however, will work.

Toddler is mad because daddy has gone off to work.
I have seen this recently. People tend to see things from their own perspective. If they had a larger, more mature perspective, they would see that daddy needs to go to work and is doing precisely what daddy is supposed to do – even for them. Somehow throwing a fit seems like a good idea, but sitting and crying really does not accomplish anything. Stop blaming, and get up and play (doing your own work) until you learn a larger perspective.

Elementary kid is angry at teacher because she points out that he needs to turn in his papers.
I always see this. Correction from someone who cares about you is a great gift. Some people, instead of choosing to acknowledge this, because they would rather not take responsibility, then feel like it would be a good idea to hate the teacher. Then they don't turn in their papers. Then they make bad grades. Then they fail the class. Then they say, “you see, she just had it in for me.”

Teen is angry because parent does not loan her the car.
I see this a lot. Why should a teen assume that the car is hers? Go out, work, and buy a car. Then you will have one to drive. The fact that you are angry because someone is not letting you drive their car shows that you are not ready to be lent the car.

Young married is angry because he or she is not getting enough attention from the spouse. “I will love you if you love me.”
A better solution would be to inject some love into the situation, because you sow what you reap. If both partners act list this, the marriage will soon wither. An entitlement mentality is creeping everywhere – comically, especially where people speak against it. Charity has become a bad word in our icicles today, but it is the translation of the word agape, divine love.

Blaming others, instead of taking responsibility is immature. It is also the heart of taking offense. Even when someone has clearly, blatantly, knowingly, repeatedly wronged you – the best course of action is to move on. Forgive, and turn toward God. Otherwise, you too will be prey for satan. The original hurt becomes like a Nazgul dagger (from the Lord of the Rings story), that once sticking in you, poisons your system. Even if someone did do something dastardly, and they will, even brothers will, you must choose to go with God. Don't let Satan pick you off.

When you find yourself taking offense, repent, turn around. If you are into a spirit of offense, cast it down, off of you and ask the Lord's forgiveness, choose by force of will to forgive if there really is some wrong done to you (but as we have seen, most is nothing of the kind), and ask God the Holy Spirit to fill you, guide you, teach you. Resolve to listen and to do.

Cleanse yourself of offense. Forgive. Even forgive God, if it comes to that. Only in this way will you have a clean, clear channel for your prayers to be answered. -- GSB